claude debussy and culture war

so ive been sitting here studying for a test about how america is not in a culture war when im sure my parents would profoundly disagree. the fact is, i find myself increasingly disenchanted with all these themes. Maybe people should stop worrying so much about the perception that we all are going to hell and start living. there is this idea that we can change things. change culture change the world, change america. whatever. the only thing we can conceivably change is ourselves and in my opinion that is sort of suspect. I seek to follow the way of Jesus. but in the words of david crowder in the lark ascending. we are supposed to be the lark and we are supposed to be ascending. but i dont feel like the lark most of the time. rather than ascending i feel like im plummeting back down to earth but then something beautiful happens. sometimes it takes shape in a moment. sometimes it takes shape in a day or a week or a month. it could be a movie or a song or a conversation. but i feel drawn back into the irresistible grace that i have been given. can i control this? can i turn this on and off. I dont think so. I dont know what i think. the fact is i am not all that original. o sure i try to be. i try to sit here and have new interesting thoughts, but even when i think i have ill listen to a matt chandler sermon or don miller or read kyles blog and there discover that it was not an original thought at all. but who cares. if its truth claim it. thats what im learning to understand. just because i didnt think something up does not make it any less true. truth is truth is truth is truth and i hope im learning to revel in that. to enjoy that and not be jealous that im not eloquent or innovative or intelligent. truth is written truth is spoken but most of all truth is lived. Jesus Christ lived truth. Jesus embodied truth. Jesus Is truth. I was thinking about that because of Bryce yall should all go read what he writes. but back to debussy. I love his music i find it just the thing to listen to in the morning. 

D:3

heres my triumphant return to the blogging arena. not really in all honesty ill never be as good a writer as sebastian murdoch or kyle gregory. my blog will not be anticipated for weeks to come by thousands of young women like the venerable KMB. but thats ok. i used to want to be a writer very much and still like the sound of it. but you know what? i cant write. i wish i could. I really respect men and women who can and would love to add my name to the pantheon of great writers. But, alas, that will never happen. my strength though perhaps is communicating verbally. At least i like to think it is. The truth is i have alot of thoughts running through my head all day. I like it that way but it often leads to me over thinking things to the point that its absurd. Last night I was up till 130 watching D:3 The Mighty Ducks and secretly wishing that I in fact had played hockey for Gordon Bombay as a youth. It would have built my character and maybe i wouldve had the chance to meet Barry Melrose or punch Sean Avery in the face. For those of you who dont know who that is youtube there names and you'll understand. This movie if classic 90's culture and you know what? I kind of like it a little bit. I like the fact that those lovable kids do all sorts of silly things that would never happen in real life. In one instance a kid from Texas of all places chases all the other ducks around with a rope and lassos them down while there on the ice. The also sneak in the "the varsity"s dormitory and unleash fireants into their rooms. This and many other instances led me to believe that high school would be like that for me. Lets just say it was not. 

o the bitter nights

why do we as people freak out about the smallest things? especially here. we always say hakuna matata or if youve mastered religious speech "its all in Gods hands" or "its in Gods will" but how many of us live like that. I know i sure as heck dont. Tonight a series of events happened that made me very frustrated. Should they have frustrated me? probably not but of course they did. Alot of it is because ive made the decision to put God on the rocks lately. Its ridiculous. Ive neglected doing the things that I know make me happy. The Lord lifts me up and is always there for me but i seem to not care about that as much as i like to  think I do. So how to counteract this seemingly endless circle of events? I dont know for sure. Read more pray more. dont do dumb things. Those all help. but its about immersing your life in the truth and beauty of God however that takes hold. every minute of every day. O Lord im sorry for just being juvenile and deciding subconsciously that i dont need you. Forgive me for being ridiculous. As I get older I begin to realize how dependant I am for a savior. Because David Hutchens is weak and selfish and arrogant. But O lord when i am walking in rythmm with you I feel strong and selfless and humble. I want more of that.

who cares about synchronized diving?

I wish that NBC in there coverage of the olympics could somehow show events that appeal to me. It does not that help that the commentators are a joke and they are annoying. Also thanks to my friends in the ESPN organization which i can never escape because they are everywhere, You know half of the results before they air here in America. I enjoy track and field, swimming, ill even watch gymnastics maybe.... but probably not. but neways there are so many good events to watch. Probably the most compelling thing to watch is the US mens basketball team.....or as pundits in the media have taken to calling them, the redeem team. I do not like this name because i was under the impression that we were supposed to win everything especially basketball. There should be nothing to redeem. We are America and we should beat every other team by 3o. I dont care if we get beat in badminton by a man from singapore. but i feel embarrassed if we get beat in one of "our sports". So i know were ill be when they play. watching and hoping we beat everyone really bad. which brings us to preseason football. preseason football is a flirt. you scroll down the guide and you see that football is on.....but you know its preseason. You know its not the same but you flip to it anyway. and just like that girl who tells you to call them but when you do she can never hang out.....preseason football breaks your heart everytime. because you never really like the flirty girl but you kind of talk yourself into maybe liking them. Preseason football does the same thing to me. It breaks my heart because its not the same as real football just like that girl you call when your heart is broken or you miss someone is not the same as the girl you really like. Im done with you forever preseason football. youve broken my heart to many times.

we must be the change we wish to see in the world

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we must allow christ through us to be the change in the world that we wish to see

we cannot do anything apart from christ working through our lives

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